Looking to bless your flirting game with a divine twist?
Whether you’re trying to impress your crush at Bible study or just want to add some holy humor to your dating life, Jesus pick up lines are here to save the day.
These lines blend faith, charm, and a whole lot of creativity—perfect for believers who aren’t afraid to show their playful side.
Below, we’ve rounded up the funniest, cheesiest, and even some dirty takes (yes, you read that right) for all occasions.
Let’s get holy and hilarious!
Dirty Jesus Pick Up Lines
😏 Holy smirks incoming—these lines are bold, borderline sinful, and not for the easily offended.
- 😈 Are you water? Because I want to turn you into wine and drink you all night.
- 🔥 You must be made of holy fire, because you’re burning up my soul.
- 🛐 Girl, I’d fast for 40 days just to break bread with you tonight.
- 👀 Your body is a temple, and I want to worship.
- 💋 You make me want to confess… every night.
- 🕊️ Can I lay hands on you… spiritually and physically?
- 🍷 My love for you is like communion—sacred and best enjoyed weekly.
- 🛏️ Let’s skip the sermon and go straight to the laying of hands.
- 😇 You make even sin look sanctified.
- 🕯️ Let’s make a prayer circle… of two… in bed.
- 🔐 You unlocked the gates of my heaven—and my bedroom.
- 🏹 I don’t need Cupid. I’ve got divine desires.
- 🌩️ Are you the second coming? Because I’m about to feel something holy.
- 🧎♂️ I kneel for Jesus… and maybe you too.
- 🔥 Baptize me in your holy water… or your bathtub.
Cheesy Jesus Pick Up Lines
🧀 Sweet, corny, and impossible to ignore—these will make hearts (and halos) melt.
- 😄 Are you manna? Because I’d collect you every morning.
- 🙌 Girl, you shine brighter than the Star of Bethlehem.
- 📖 I must be reading Psalms, because you’re making my heart sing.
- 🌟 You’re the answer to my prayers—and my search history.
- 🎶 You and me? That’s a match made in heaven’s playlist.
- 🐑 I’d leave the 99 just to find you.
- 💫 You’re more miraculous than walking on water.
- 🎁 You must be a blessing in disguise… or just fine in general.
- 🕊️ You make my heart speak in tongues.
- 🛐 Wanna go on a prayer date? I’ll bring snacks and scripture.
- 🌈 Are you Noah’s Ark? Because I want to come in pairs.
- 🛟 You’re saving me more than Jesus at this point.
- 💬 I don’t need parables to know you’re the one.
- 🧭 Like the Magi, I followed a star… and found you.
- 📜 Let’s write our own book of love—New New Testament.
Jesus Pick Up Lines Dirty
😳 These are spicy, blasphemous, and sure to spark laughter (or a need for forgiveness).
- 🔥 You’re hotter than hell, but I’d still risk it.
- 🍷 Can I be the wine to your body? Let’s make this communion personal.
- 👅 Speak in tongues, baby. I’m ready.
- 🛐 I want to do more than just lay hands—if you know what I mean.
- 🛏️ Let’s reenact Song of Solomon—verse by steamy verse.
- 🌊 You part the sea of my loneliness.
- 😈 I’d break the ten commandments just to touch you.
- 🧎♀️ Let’s pray… naked.
- 🔔 You’re making my soul ring—and other things too.
- 🌙 Are you divine? Because I’m experiencing a holy awakening… below the belt.
- 🕯️ Your holiness is lighting up my darkest thoughts.
- 💋 Let’s turn the other cheek—then kiss it.
- 💦 You’re flooding my heart… and maybe more.
- 🪨 Call me Peter, because I’ll build my church on your rock.
- 🎯 I’m not sinning, I’m just aiming for your heart (and maybe lower).
Jesus Pick Up Lines Funny
😂 Lighthearted and punny, these lines are perfect for holy banter.
- 😂 Jesus turned water into wine, but you turned my heart into mush.
- 🍞 Wanna split a loaf and a life together?
- 🌊 You make my heart walk on water.
- 🎸 You’re the only hymn I want to sing.
- 📖 Is your name Grace? Because you’ve saved me.
- 🌤️ You’re the sunshine on my resurrection day.
- 🧼 Let’s cleanse our sins together—with laughter.
- 🧎♂️ I only kneel for two things: Jesus and you.
- 🐟 Are you a fisher of men? Because I’m hooked.
- 🛐 I was lost, but then I found you—thank God!
- 🕯️ You light my soul like Pentecost fire.
- 📜 Let’s start a Bible study—just the two of us.
- 🕊️ The spirit is strong… and so are my feelings for you.
- 💌 Is this love or divine revelation?
- 😇 You’re so angelic, even Gabriel is jealous.
Are You Jesus Pick Up Lines
🤔 These play off the “Are you Jesus?” formula with holy humor and divine charm.
- 🤍 Are you Jesus? Because you’ve resurrected my faith in love.
- ✨ Are you Jesus? Because you’ve performed a miracle in my heart.
- 💓 Are you Jesus? Because I’ve been saved.
- 😵💫 Are you Jesus? Because I’m falling for you fast—like Saul.
- 🕊️ Are you Jesus? Because peace follows you everywhere.
- 🌍 Are you Jesus? Because I want to follow you anywhere.
- 🛐 Are you Jesus? Because I feel spiritually stirred when you’re near.
- 💫 Are you Jesus? Because you’re glowing with holiness.
- 😇 Are you Jesus? Because heaven looks good on you.
- 🎶 Are you Jesus? Because your voice is music to my soul.
- 💌 Are you Jesus? Because you answer all my prayers.
- 🌈 Are you Jesus? Because you complete my covenant.
- 👣 Are you Jesus? Because you walk all over my heart in the best way.
- 📖 Are you Jesus? Because your story moves me.
- 🔥 Are you Jesus? Because your love consumes me.
Jesus Pick Up Lines Reddit
📲 The funniest, weirdest, and most iconic Jesus pick up lines found in the wilds of Reddit.
- 🐑 I’d leave the flock to find you, every single time.
- 😂 Girl, you’re so fine, you must be made from Adam’s best rib.
- 🛐 Let’s fellowship… alone.
- 😇 Ever feel called to love? Because I think I just heard God say your name.
- 🌩️ You’ve got me trembling like Mount Sinai.
- 💬 Do you speak in tongues? Because I’m ready to understand you.
- 📜 You’re my new scripture—worthy of daily study.
- 🔥 You’re giving me more heat than the burning bush.
- 🕯️ Your light outshines my Sunday candles.
- 🎁 You’re the real gift of the Magi.
- 🛟 Are you salvation? Because I feel saved when I’m with you.
- 🧎♂️ You make me fall… right to my knees.
- 🕊️ I’d go through a Jonah-level storm just to be close to you.
- 🛏️ Can we do morning devotion… in bed?
- 🏹 You pierced my heart better than any Roman spear.
Conclusion
Whether you’re praying for love or just want a laugh, Jesus pick up lines are a hilarious and unexpected way to blend humor with holiness.
From cheesy to downright scandalous, there’s something here for every blessed flirt.
Just remember—use with love, laughter, and maybe a little grace!
